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Funny confucius quotes
Confucius say: Man who chase girl in park… may get caught.
Confucius say: Marriage is like a hot bath—once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.
Confucius say: Man who stand on head, have crack up.
Confucius say: Woman who put man in doghouse, soon find him in cat house.
Confucius say: Man with broken heart need duct tape, not advice.
Confucius say: Man who gets kiss on forehead… on way to goodnight.
Confucius say: Man who marry young wife, sleep with one eye open.
Confucius say: Relationship like elevator—sometimes it lift you up, sometimes it drop you hard.
Confucius say: Love is blind—but neighbors ain’t.
Confucius say: Man who fall in love on first date may be stuck paying for dinner forever
Funny confucius quotes
Confucius say: Man who eat too many prunes, get run for money.
Confucius say: Man who stand on toilet, high on pot.
Confucius say: He who laughs last, not get joke.
Confucius say: Life like sandwich—no matter how you flip it, bread comes first.
Confucius say: Man who sleep like baby, wake up crying every two hours.
Confucius say: Life is short—smile while you still have teeth.
Confucius say: Man who run in front of car get tired, man who run behind car get exhausted.
Confucius say: Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters into own hands.
Confucius say: Life is like a camera—focus on the good times, delete the bad shots.
Confucius say: Man who fish in other man’s pond often catch crabs.
Funny confucius quotes
Confucius say: Man who work late at office, not necessarily hard worker—maybe just bad planner.
Confucius say: Man who pretend to know everything, annoy those who actually do.
Confucius say: Employee who steal stapler, soon get stuck.
Confucius say: Man who arrive early to meeting, have more time to regret attending.
Confucius say: Boss who talks too much, often say nothing.
Confucius say: Man who work from home, master of pajama productivity.
Confucius say: Man who climb corporate ladder too fast, miss steps.
Confucius say: Co-worker who brings tuna, kill morale.
Confucius say: Man with messy desk has organized chaos—or just chaos.
Confucius say: Man who hit reply all, make many enemies.
Funny confucius quotes
Confucius say: Man who drink too much, wake up in Facebook photos.
Confucius say: Man who party hard, nap harder.
Confucius say: Drunk man’s words, sober man’s regrets.
Confucius say: Woman who dance barefoot at party wake up with regrets and broken glass.
Confucius say: Man who toast too often, soon become roasted.
Confucius say: Man with hangover, find peace in darkness and silence.
Confucius say: Beer before liquor, never sicker—Confucius never wrong.
Confucius say: Man who dance on table, soon fall from grace.
Confucius say: Friend with open bar, worth keeping.
Confucius say: Man who wake up wearing traffic cone, had good night.
Funny confucius quotes
- Confucius say: Man who trust autocorrect walk dangerous path.
- Confucius say: Woman who post 100 selfies, still searching for herself.
- Confucius say: Man who text while walking, soon meet pole.
- Confucius say: Man with slow Wi-Fi live in buffering reality.
- Confucius say: One who updates software always regret it later.
- Confucius say: Person who reply “K” in text, start silent war.
- Confucius say: Man who forget password, cursed forever.
- Confucius say: Man who take phone to bathroom never alone.
- Confucius say: Email marked “Urgent” rarely is.
- Confucius say: Man who lose phone lose piece of soul.
Why Funny confucius quotes-Style Humor Still Works Today
It’s the combo of ancient tone with modern madness that makes these jokes golden. They’re punchy, playful, and totally unexpected. Plus, that “Confucius say…” opener sets you up for something profound—only to deliver a hilarious twist.
How to Come Up With Your Own Funny confucius quotes
The Formula
- Start with “Confucius say”
- Add a setup that feels wise
- End with a clever pun or ironic twist
Example:
Confucius say: Man who park wrong car, get towed away from enlightenment.
Do’s and Don’ts
- Do keep it short and witty.
- Don’t be offensive—unless you’re among friends who get the humor.
- Do keep the structure traditional—it adds to the charm.
- Don’t copy others. The joy is in creating your own twist!
Funny confucius quotes Conclusion
Confucius-style jokes are timeless, endlessly funny, and a great way to blend wit with wisdom. Whether you’re trying to get a laugh
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